Very First...

Today is the first day I start blogging! I AM VERY EXCITED!! Anyways, my frineds have been blogging for quite some time now, so I decided to do my own blog! I've always known I had alot of DRAMA in my LIFE!! I am only going to do one blog a day, unless it has nothing to do with my day=P ANYWAYS!!!! I am only 17 YEARS OlD!! I love being 17!! Last night I went to a party and it was FUN as HELL!!! I LOVE to DRINK!! I'm not big on drugs though!! Anyways, I'm the type of person that people would call the loner/not that pretty/pathetic person...But I have my group of friends. This one guy in my group, I REALLY LOVE HIM. It's not even funny how much I LOVE HIM!!! So at the party everyone was drinking and after a while he was MAJORLY drunk!! Now my friendship with him is that we are good friends and have been since we were little!!! So as you guessed it, he has NO IDEA that I LOVE HIM!!! So after a while I went to the bathroom, when I got out he was right at the door!!!I WAS SHOCKED!!! WHY? Because he pushed me into the bathroom again and shut the door behind him!!! When I tried to leave he grabbed my arm, and turned me around then made out with me!!!! I WAS IN HEAVEN!!! but I couldn't let it continue, because we're friends and like he was drunk!! Plus I thought it was a joke because he's a hot jock and I'm a fat pathetic loser. Now I'm always down for doing that type of STUFF!! But when he asked me...I HESITATED!!! Then said yes, so he pulled down his pants and then he pushed me down to my knees!!! He was being to aggressive for me!!! I WANTED TO HURT HIM!! he hurt me pushing me down but then when I tried to get back up he said PLEASE!! so I did!!! Then he grabbed me , and pulled me up!! I HATE when people are AGGRESSIVE!!!While I was brushing my teeth, he was getting dressed!! We went back into the main room to continue the party, only to find no one else there. Considering it was his place and I was too drunk to drive home, I slept over. We both fell asleep on the couch, cuddling. This MORNING!!! was weird because he remembered what he did and so do I. He ignored it all morning until I was about to leave. He then took me and KISSED ME!!! It was like the MOVIES!!! My leg went up and it was AMAZING!!! He then told me that he LOVES ME!!!! I WAS SHOCKED!!!!!!!!!!!I then left with a huge ass smile in my face and I was on cluod nine but now I'm thinking was it only the hangover talking, or was he truly saying it!!! and not only that, I don't know whether I stilll LOVE him as MUCH as I did all because he might be TOO AGGRESSIVE with me!!! I'm SOOOOOOOO CONFUSED!!!! Any advice would be nice!!!!OH YA by the way just to let you guys know that that was my FIRST blow job or hand job, EVER!!!!!